Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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