I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
