I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
