I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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