You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
