sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
