I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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