Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
