Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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