5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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