You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
