2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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