i just google imaged poop.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
