He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
