I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is Oprah even human
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
