I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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