a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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