somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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