Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
