we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
