bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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