OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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