the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
