i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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