So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He better not be in your backpack
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
