I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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