He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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