Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
