I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
