xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
