ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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