Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Found your dick twin last night
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
