I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
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I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
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Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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