i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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