After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize