I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
