Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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