This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
