i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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