i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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