I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
