How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
