Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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