Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I party with great urgency now.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
