I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i dont even know how to be here
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
