She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
