..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
