paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
