definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
