I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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