I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
