How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
