I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize