We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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