peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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