I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
