Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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