she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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