I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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