how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.