Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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