he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion