Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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