I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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